optimism?

is it possible?

i came to the realization today that i am way too trusting of others, especially because i believe that at the heart, people are out to fuck you in the ass as hard as they can, with a dildo the size of your forearm. this worries me. perhaps i should work on changing my world view. would i still be me?

also, i got a new job. i start on monday. possibly my life will be that much more entertaining and awesome and i will update this piece of shit way more with photos! and stuff.

new year

well.

i am really bad at this. i should just do this from work, as it will be much more full of vitriol and all that shit. when i’m home i’m relaxed. i’m watching wife swap. i’m drinking tea, and not that angry. well, i’m always a little angry, but you know. not in a dehibilitating fashion.

not ready for this

arg.

i could turn this into a half assed knitting blog. that’s all i’ve been reading recently because apparently, i am obsessed with knitting. i found myself on the phone to my sister in new york directing her urgently to a yarn barn so she could get me shit for my birthday. i’m telling you, i’m not ok.

oh this old thing

hi.

well.
it’s been a while again. god i suck. how am i ever going to dominate the internet if i don’t update this thing?

anyway. let me provide a bulleted list of what’s been going on in my life. i LOVE lists.

1. i got a haircut. it is short, choppy and i look like a power lesbian. scale of 1-10 it is like a 6.

2. SONIA WILL BE HERE AT THE END OF THE MONTH. THIS FILLS ME WITH GLEE. WE ARE GOING TO BIG SUR AND WE ARE GOIGN TO CAMP AND DRINK AND PLAY CELEBRITY!
3. the chornicle slowly wears away at my soul. with each passing day my youth dies a little more.
4. um! the bay bridge will be closed on our way back into the city. as i know jack shit about how to get anywhere, i am hoping that we will be able to make it home without probs as we will be cranky, stinky and wanting to die.
5. i love jeopardy.
6. this list is really not an update on my life but apparently mental diarrhea.

i had no idea

i went to the beach on saturday. we went to monterey. it was everything i could’ve hoped it to be, which isn’t saying much since i had no prior expectations and had no idea what hte fuck was going on but nooo matter;

we rented a hilarious pt cruiser convertible that was the yuppiest thing i have ever seen in my entire life and also the most hilarious. i mean i can’t even describe. i would look aat the thing parked in the parking lot and crack up. it looked so insouciant and cute. and hilarious.

anyway. ahem.

so we went to the beach and we fell asleep on the beach for like an hour and we thought it would be fine since it was sunny but breezy and not that warm.

we thought wrong.
greg and i were fried to a crisp. we then proceeded to eat gross food in carmel by the sea, and then drink good beer at the most amazing bar i’ve ever been in in santa cruz with kenny kahn, my crush from senior year of high school. then, in a delirious fog of aloe vera gel and sun exposure, we made it home in record time: 3 hours when the trip should’ve taken 1.5.

gooood times.

bay to breakers is this weekend. we will try to faithfully reproduce the carefree spirit of public drunkenness and good times that is marathon monday. as i look at the weather widget for san francisco, it tells me that it will rain on sunday. the exact day we have plans to be drinking heavily on greg’s front stoop having a block party and watching naked elvises jog past.

bummer man.

ew i’m so cali it hurts.

ew i just said cali.

sarah: for you

i somehow managed to delete my entire ipod in the midst of reorganizing and getting ready to copy my whole ipod to my computer.

i thought i was cclearing the library but the ipod was really selected and silly fucking me i didn’t look and then poof they were all gone. all. fucking gone. almost 3000 songs gone.

i thought i was going to cry but now i’m just really really mind numbingly angry at myself.

thankfully all my indie rock etc and shit i can get from greg. the rest i can scrape together from my old ipod which rests at my mother’s house, out of batteries, but still containing all of my other musicc that greg wouldn’t have.

thank fuccking god, but onloy a little bit.

i am so stupid. i am going to try and pass out and pretend like i didnt do this. in fact, i’ll probably wake up and it will seem like i didn’t do it.

the whole reason this happened is because the headphone jack broke on my ipod, they wanted me to send it in, and i was like, wait i need to get my music and they were like ok, and then that was it. the fuccking end.

and then this shit.

what an awesome week.

water balloons

thank god for showtime at the fucking apollo. it is the perfect thing to watch when you’re kind of drunk but not really and you’re in bed and all you want to do is read myspace and compose emails that you’re never going to send.

another list.
1. water balloons are probably the most hilarious thing to incorporate into a social situation.
2. olive oil makes for a very moist birthday cake.
3. you should be wary of loft parrties in soma where you don’t know anyone and there’s bad hard house playing in the kitchen.
4. camoflauge is hideous.
4a. not sure if i spelled that right.
5. on friday i bit the bullet and went to work and asked jack out. well, i gave him my number. we shot the shit for a second about stuff, like work and school and wherre we went to school and blah blah blah. i stood there with a wet rag in my hand and my apron hardly on. before he left, i said “hey jack. we should hang out sometime.” his voice squeaked when he said “sure”. it was adorable. i sprinted to thecounter, fumbled for something to write on and then scrawled my name and number. my hand was shaking. after this, i made some ccomment about god knows fucking what and then sprinted to the backroom where i proceeded to mime vomiting into the trash can.

5a. i hope jack calls me. ball’s in his court now. look at me. i’m not playing games. i have too much shit to deal with on the other end. i just need a distraction. or something.

vomiting in public.

this is kinda awesome as well
http://www.adidas.com/adicolor

i like graphic design, i like sneakers and i like websites that are heaavy on flash(sort of).

it’s bene really nice for the past few days here. thank GOD. the sun was out and yesterday greg and wendy cam eover and came into mjy house while iw as asleep on the bed and went to the roof and then we sat on the roof and we drank beer and talked and it was bice. finally, a fucking nice day. after about three hundred years of rain. if i heard someone make a fucking ark joke one more time i was going to kill.

here’s another list of things. i prefer doing this in list format since i work way better making things in a list. etc.

1. my drug test at the chron was inconclusive/dilute so i had to take another one yesterday. i tried to flush my system the natural way and everyone is assuring me that i passed so ia m believing them. i had to talk to like 5 different people while i was waiting to go to HR and they all told me how happy they would be to have me work ther eand blah blah. and i vomited a little in my mouth and smiled through it. then i got a pep talk from mc and then went to take the drug test. the end.

2. i have a mini crush on jack the paralegal who comes into peets all the time. i have been bringing out the big guns, working the rapport etc but i am running out of time. i have been given a variety of suggestions in how to ask him out, including but not limited to slipping a note in the bag with his bagel and just asking him to get a drink with me/go to wendy’s birthday party this weekend. i vomited quietly ino a garbage can at the thought of all of these things. most likely none of this will happen, since i am not going to ask him out and there’s just no way.

3. i cou;d’ve done away with the list format and merely just had paragraphs. oh well.

4. thank god toto is on the regis and kelly show.

5. the weather is getting nicer, i might have a jobn at the chron so it looks like things are on the up and up. and dave will be coming back to the united states in a month or so.

i don’t even know anymore. i really dont.

thank god

this book cracks me the fuck up,
i remember reading about it when it first came out and now it’s out and available on the internet in full. i kind of want to raise my kids this way, complete with sgt. pepper jacket and wacky hippie hubby.

http://www.itsjustaplant.com

good shit

here is another list.

things i like right now.

1. fafi: http://www.fafi.net
a hilarious, interesting, creepy graff artist.she’s french and writes in broken english on her website and she shows at a really great gallery that i have been getting email alerts from for like 5 years called sixspace in LA. there is one of her crazy ladies painted near upper playground on fillmore. love her.
2. the blanket i knitted.
3. my apartment and my gardenia scented castle.
4. my new haircut
5. kidrobot, which is a store that fulfills my desire for kitschy, vaguely subversive cartoony art from japan etc.
6. shaina’s new voluminous haircut.
7. the fact that lindsay lohan is on snl right now and she’s a fucking retard.
8. fin.