It’s all so new.

It gets easier every day. At first you feel at odds with yourself, sitting in your empty apartment at 11:30 in the morning, knowing that you need to leave the house but aren’t sure what you would do if you did. There are good things about this. The TV is never on anymore, because daytime television depresses you. Sometimes you go throw your bookshelves and make neat piles of books you wanted to read but never had the time for. You spend an inordinate amount of time plucking your eyebrows. You find yourself engaging in behaviors that are so wholly bizarre that it’s better that they are kept to yourself, in the small hours of the afternoon. You stop using utensils and plates to eat your food, instead opting to squatting in front of the refrigerator in your underwear, picking half-heartedly at a variety of foil-covered plates. You know your roommate would lose her mind if she saw you picking chunks of sausage out of the bowl with your fingers but she’s not here to witness it, so you forge ahead.

Keeping busy.

It’s really amazing how many things you can do when you don’t have anything to do at all.

1. Window shopping consumes 75% of my time. I spend inordinate, unhealthy amounts of time in various stores, carrying around armloads of sundresses and floaty tees, trying them on and then leaving without purchasing anything. I’m able to indulge my materialism without actually following through. Sometimes I let myself slip, but only if it’s on sale and exceptionally cute.
2. It takes me a long time to leave the house. I’ll take a shower and then sit on the couch in my towel for an hour, half-heartedly applying for jobs and talking to my employed friends on IM. Then I’ll put on underwear. Selecting an outfit to wear when you’re going to be out of the house for a maximum of 2 hours is enormously time-consuming. There are so many options! So many clean shirts, waiting to be worn. I blow dry my hair every day like I’m going on a date. Sometimes I wear makeup for NO REASON. You never know.
3. The library is a place of wonder, joy and pure excitement. Hours. I lose hours in the San Francisco public library. Discovering the DVD section caused me to come home with a variety of awkward and hilarious documentary selections including one about the musical theatre camp in upstate New York and a docuumentary called Shvitz, about the last remaining bathhouse in Coney Island. Broadening my horizons, kids.
4. I avoid doing things I actually need to do. These include visiting the unemployment office, grocery shopping and calling my student loan company to put my loans into forbearance.
5. I walk a lot more. I’m in no rush! Where am I going? Nowhere! Walk downtown! Walk to the bus! Walk up that pesky hill you usually don’t walk up ever, while smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone! Take your time. It’s a nice day out and you have no obligations to anyone.
6. I do a lot of lunch. I am an excellent lunch date. I will gladly meet you near your place of employment, eat a sandwich and talk shop with you. It makes me feel like a part of the workforce and I can offer advice. I’m an excellent yes-man, except when I’m being a cock. Usually I’m not a cock. Tell me your troubles. I like feeling like a person.

I’ll get a job soon.

new leaf again!

I would direct all further attention to trashyornot.blogspot.com. That is where my musings and the musings of my friends re: life, things that are trashy and things that are not trashy are. Maybe every now and then I will update this thing. In fact, here is a new list to go with the list that I made previously, just now.

1. I am unemployed!
2. I am unemployed!
3. Being unemployed is kinda great.

new leaf bitches.

Well.
Times have changed. I am going to do this a little more than just sporadically, if not only to please my meager audience but because might as well.

Here is a comprehensive list detailing things about me that have changed and that are good.

1. I am no longer in love with Dave.
2. I am a traffic manager at a marketing agency.
3. I live in an adorable apartment near the Full House houses with Mary Clair.
4. I will be 25 soon.
5. I don’t mind and even like San Francisco.
5a. I have lived here for almost two years.
6. I have been camping a bunch and it’s not that bad.
7. I don’t suck at knitting, life or my job.
8. I’m a little calmer these days.
9. See #1. It’s the most important and the impetus for my life’s turnaround.